October 27, 2008 We visit the orphanage

We went to the orphanage today. It was about a 3 hour car ride. We went with the other family who adopted a boy from the same orphanage. The boys did very well riding that far. We arrived at the SWI (social welfare institute) at around 11:30 am. THe orphanage is a SWI because it houses orphans and the elderly who have no family. It is about 3 or 4 buildings in size. We started off in the office building. Aron and I knew right away that the staff were not very familiar with our boy. They talked with him only minimally and he did not like them at all. We met the director and she seemed very professional and kind. We liked her very much. After a short visit with her, she took us to the toddler room. We were not allowed to take photos inside. I will try to describe to you the room. As we ascended the stairs AJ was crying, which he doesn't do very often. He was saying mama and some other words and our guide said that he was saying mama tay, mama tay. SHe said that he was saying mama here, mama here. He was very upset. We entered the room and he would not be consoled. THere were around 40 little toddler sized beds in rows of 8 or so. They were filled except for 2 I believe. One child was crying and a nanny was trying to comfort him/her. I could not tell how many of the children were girls and how many were boys. They all had very short hair. Our friend's little boy started to take off his shoes to go get in his bed. He knew right where his bed was. The nannies pointed out his best friend to him and they hugged. The best friend is being adopted and his parents are coming in Dec. Many of the children looked not so much sick as just gaunt and lifeless. The stared at us and I felt the hopelessness there. I started to cry. There little faces are so precious and they need a family so badly. Tom, our friend, the other adoptive father was gently waving his hand back and forth. I think that he was praying over the children. Aron had to take AJ out of the room. He's too young to understand what was going on. As the rest of us left the room, there was a child holding out his arm to us. THat image is permanently etched on my brain. I will not forget what I saw. I do feel that the care givers were genuinely kind, but there are just too many children to care for properly. We saw just the tip of the iceberg. The director said that they have 300 children ages infant to 16 years old living there. And to think there are hundreds of orphanages around the world with the same numbers. Lord, help them.

After the tour the staff served us lunch. It was delicious. The director provided answers to our questions and we took some pictures.

Back to AJ. The director told us that since AJ's surgery he has been living in foster care. THat he only came back to the orphanage 2 months ago to prepare for adoption. His foster mom also checked in here every few months to make sure she was doing a good job. Our guide said that they will absolutely not tell us the foster parents name, and we cannot meet them. It seems that his foster mama did a very good job. He was loved. I am so thankful for her. If only I could tell her. The nannies at the orphanage wear pink scrubs and the administrators wear blue pants and jackets. The picture I have of AJ by the polkadot dinosaur there is a woman next to him in a dress. I can only assume that she is his foster mama or other friend because she is not an orphanage worker. I hope that we are right and AJ has a picture of the woman who loved him so well. I do not know why they return the children to the orphanage prior to the adoption. Probably, to keep the foster family anonymous. I asked our guide a lot of questions about the secretiveness of adoption and she answered many of them. She is very comfortable answering my questions and I am thankful. There are many social and cultural issues here involving unwed mothers. That's a story for another time.

We are glad that we got to see the orphanage and the tremendous need here in China. It is an experience we will never forget. Will you join us in praying for these orphans?